Παρασκευή, 24 Ιουλίου 2009

να που τελικα η αγαπη που προστατεψα εγινε θηλια..


kai kapws etsi teleiwnoun ola.. kapws etsi kleinei o kyklos mias istorias pou nomiza pws 8a kratouse gia panta.. 8a antexe sto xrono.. mias istorias pou "8a ginotan my8istorhma kai 8a espage ta tameia" .. akougetai asteio e? nai, dikio exete.. kapote den htan omws.. kapote agwniousa toso gia to ti 8a mou eferne h epomenh mera pou 3exnousa pws einai na gelas..

htan mia tyxaia gnwrimia.. pio tyxaia de ginetai.. ews kai anapantexh.. ypologismenh omws.. "grafto" opws synh8ize na thn apokalei ki ekeinos.. prwta gnwrisa afton.. to "antikeimeno tou po8ou" mou.. mia parousia xartinh, hmidiafanh sxedon.. ma toso alh8inh, toso elkystikh.. ystera emfanisthkan oi filoi tou.. "filoi".. den mporw na pw me sigouria.. oi misoi ton zhlevoun.. tous allous misous tous zhlevei ekeinos gia tis alh8eies pou mporoun na lene enw o idios oxi.. ligo kairo meta, afth.. figoura entelws aylh.. skiagrafhmenh opws ta 8ymata stis tainies.. eirwnikh hrwida ma kai toso "dh8en afelhs".. e8elotyflouse.. me enan phgaio, asthrefto egwismo.. mia asteia kai outopikh 8elhsh na mh xasei ton xammeno "titlo".. polemistria se mia anish maxh "sthmenh" apo thn arxh enantion ths.. isws vevaia na mhn htan toso "8yma".. isws ola na ta' 3ere kai na diaskedaze.. den mporw na pistepsw oti den evlepe.. ena nhsi, h apostash, o xronos.. ligoi mono akoma apo tous prwtagwnistes afths ths tragelafikhs kwmwdias.. kaneis de 8a mporesei pote na niwsei poso agaphsa.. poso xariza ton eafto mou mesa apo ka8e lepto dipla tou.. kaneis, ki afto giati "den yparxoun alloi na pianoun ton eafto tous sthn akrh tou krevatiou na tremei parea me tis parais8hseis" opws eipe kapote mia filh.. 3erete poia filh? afth pou twra einai mazi tou.. thn agaphsa ki ekeinh.. prin.. prin ap' ola.. ki oso ki an to prospa8hsei.. de 8a kataferei na niwsei opws egw.. den einai h wra ths akoma.. kaneis loipon de 8a ais8an8ei pote ton pono pou me vasanize molis epefta sto krevati 3erontas pws h de 8a koimh8w h 8a mpainovgainoun shmeia kai terata sta oneira mou.. ta dakrya pou eri3a 8a eftanan gia na gemissoun tis kardies olwn -an eixan vevaia..

teleiwse loipon.. etsi.. ado3a.. mounta.. adiafora.. adika gia mena.. afhnontas yponnoies gia thn akeraiothta mou, ena apo ta xeirotera pragmata.. ma to orkizomai.. to orkizomai se osous pistepsan mazi mou s' afto to paramy8i.. se ka8e enan pou etyxe na diavasei kapoia protash mou kai na anatrixiasei.. de 8a elegα pote psemata.. 3erete.. me pnigei to dikio mou.. toso pou oute na anapnefsw mporw.. oute na klapsw.. na stenaxwrh8w gi' afto pou efyge.. kai twra den mporei kaneis na pei tipota.. giati afth h "e3omologhsh" grafetai se ena xarti pou de 8a pesei sta xeria tous.. kai 8a perastei se mia selida apo thn opoia exoun apokleistei.. kai aftos kai oloi oi "dikoi tou".. oi symmaxoi tou pou toso adika epai3an panw sth dikh mou plath.. an ema8a kati? oxi.. telika tipota.. kaneis den a3izei na einai "daskalos" an adynatei na thrhsei tis idies tou tis 8ewries.. kai sto telos, oute enas apo aftous den to ekane..

xairomai gia mena omws.. xairomai giati syneidhtopoiw oti ena xrono mesa stis anatropes kai ta anapantexa gegonota.. ena xrono vy8ismenh stis pio treles symptwseis, den alla3a.. akomh kai twra -exontas zhsei afth thn arrwsth istoria- 8a to 3anaekana.. mh gelieste! oxi me ton idio an8rwpo! aftos pe8ane.. 8a riskara omws pali na agaphsw toso.. gnwrizontas fysika oti kindynevw na 3anaponesw..

mesa se olous osous afhnw yparxoun 1-2 pou den to a3izoun, pou apla "tous phre h mpala".. alverto, odyssea, akh, vera -an kai de 8a to diavasete- zhtw syggnwmh.. an kai de xanete tipota.. sto katw-katw symfwna me tous an8rwpous sas egw yphr3a tsoula, antroxwristra, prodoths, pseftra......... opote mallon kai se esas 8a thn eferna kapoia stigmh.. par' ol' afta sas efxaristw giati eite gnwrizate ka8e leptomereia ths istorias, eite to kentriko ths 8ema, hsaste ekei.. me akougate..

kleinw, loipon, thn porta pisw mou, ermhtika.. to kleidi to petaw.. toso makria, na mh dw oute pοu 8a pesei.. den gyrizw 3ana pisw.. fevgw misostraggalismenh apo to dikio mou pou panta 8a me pnigei.. lypamai pou mexri kai thn teleftaia stigmh prin kleisw thn porta, apo th mikrh xaramada evlepa an8rwpous na peftoun sta matia mou.. na peftoun toso xamhla pou pros stigmhn na skeftomai na 3anaanoi3w gia na tous vοh8hsw na shkw8oun.. ma vare8hka na aplwnw to xeri s' aftous pou telika h 8esh tous einai ontws xamhla.. vare8hka na swzw an8rwpous apo ton e3eftelismo, otan aftos tous a3izei (kai ton epidiwkoun me ka8e tropo).. giati to apotelesma htan ka8e fora na peftw ki egw mazi tous.. kai kaneis na mhn mpainei se diadikasia na shkwsei emena..

ftanei loipon.. kapoiwn h 8esh einai ston ourano.. kapoiwn sth gh kai kai orismenwn katw apo afthn.. mporei na mhn yphr3a pote mou "aggelos" opws alloi.. pantws sigoura den epra3a kati toso asxhmo wste na mou armozoun ta egkata ths ghs sta opoia merikoi viasthkan na me ri3oun.. vriskomai sth gh -ekei pou pistevw pws patousa panta.. ekana la8h -ma panta enantia ston eafto mou.. gia ekeinous edina panta to kalytero.. kai aftoi gia "efxaristw" ypegrapsan megaloprepws to telos tou vivliou mou.. ekeinou tou vivliou pou ligo poly oloi mou oi filoi me parakalousan na grapsw.. "gia na' xei o kosmos na diavazei istories akraies ma alh8ines".. "gia na ma8oun oi an8rwpoi pws afta de ginontai mono stis tainies".. wraia, ki an to ma8ainan ti 8a ginotan? tipota.. den to ezhsan.. den eniwsan oute stigmh opws egw.. afhste to loipon.. as meinoun apla shmeiwseis sto tetradio mou.. na 8ymaste mono oti to telos de dw8hke apo mena.. den epediw3a egw na navaghsei to "happy end" pou oloi perimenate.. pou oloi mou yposxosastan (ti afeleis pou eiste wres-wres).. the show is over, close the storybook..

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